


true love lives on

by wannabehipster



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Jackson dies before fic!!, Kittens, Love Confessions, No Dialogue, Spirit Animals, disregards season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 08:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabehipster/pseuds/wannabehipster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>lydia's heart starts to mend slowly. instead of wasting away her life on solitary mourning, she gradually expanded her friend group to more than just her kitten (whom she still loved to spend lazy days with).</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	true love lives on

**Author's Note:**

> title and inspiration from the lana song "dark paradise"  
> ~instead of jackson turning into a werewolf at the end of season 2, he dies  
> ~ignores everything from season 3 oops

he's dead. the bite never took to him fully, it only clutched to the broken parts and failed to protect the good ones. he died in his lover's arms, with scales marring the left side of his pale face and _toosharp_ claws digging into her forearm as he clung to her. as he clung to the only thing that made him feel alive and humane. she remembers that day vividly since every place his skin touched hers burns under the surface, weeks upon weeks later.

jackson's dead and nobody can bring him back to life, not even lydia. and she's tried so hard, but she doesn't know how to do it on her own, with her consent; unlike peter who crept and snuck himself inside of her mind. but she can feel jackson in the very back of her mind, observing and watching over her but it's not enough. it's never enough because he's not _here_ and she can't be held by his strong arms or pepper kisses onto his neck anymore. so she throws herself into discovering the secrets of resuscitation. she sometimes dedicates days to sitting on her bed, in his spot, and willing him to materialize by using her undying love and longing as her only weapons. other days she visits deaton and he helps her do research in exchange for help with the animals.

there's this one kitten, barely old enough to be separated from his mother, who becomes attached to her. he's always wandering away from his family and nuzzles into her outstretched palm. lydia falls in love with him, begs deaton for his adoption rights because she needs this small bundle of cuddles and fuzz in her life. two weeks later, lydia is bringing the kitten home with allison trailing behind her, carrying the kitten's necessities. allison says that the kitten will help lydia heal, will start to stitch back together the red and angry wounds in her heart; lydia agrees and draws allison in an embrace once the speech is completed. the kitten, who now only responds to fang, is everything lydia needs. fang's fur is the same sandy brown as jackson's hair and they share the same piercing blue eyes also. it feels too similar to just be a coincidence but lydia doesn't dwell on it because she wants to savor this short-lived _happiness._

allison spends the night with lydia and fang, and lydia is beyond grateful for her best friend and the support that she has. the three of them curl on lydia's bed under cotton-candy pink sheets and fang nudges himself between the girls, purring when they giggle. lydia doesn't remember a time where she felt this content, not after the death that's a given. just as sleep starts to take over, lydia feels allison grab her hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. she squeezes back and tangles their fingers together.

that night, jackson comes and visits her in the midst of a dream and she knows he's not a figment of her imagination ( _this time at least_ ) because it feels similar to how she felt when peter invaded. only this time it's sweeter because it's full of _love_ and jackson is finally _here_ with the tangy smell of cologne and wandering hands. he tells her that he loves her, with every ounce of his soul, and lydia sobs as she tells him the same. jackson also tells her that fang is not a coincidence, that fang is the closest he can get to lydia (she giggles when she realizes that a tiny kitten is jackson's spirit animal) and he can't be brought back. he holds lydia tight as she shakes through the sadness, whispering sweet nothings into her strawberry curls as tears streak her face. lydia knows the morning is nearing, that this visit is nearing it's end; so lydia grabs jackson by the soft cotton collar of his shirt and kisses him like she's starving without his touch (she needs him as much as she needs food and water). it's _hard_ and _fast_ and _lovingi_ and _delirious_ ; lydia feels her heart shattering in parts and healing in others.

lydia awakes with a smile on her face and a warmth on her lips; happiness bubbling inside of her for the first time since the accident. allison's hand is still interlocked with hers, although she's still sound asleep, and fang is peering at her with wide blue eyes and a paw resting on her wrist. she disentangles herself from the cuddle pile, smooths allison's hair back from her face and rubs the spot under fang's ear before making her way downstairs. she's almost done making breakfast when allison steps through the doorway, fang bundled in her arms; the sight makes lydia hopeful for the future and fills her with warmth she hasn't felt since jackson. they sit and pile food on their plates, with lydia slipping fang a small piece of bacon; lydia tells allison about her visit with jackson, allison offers a small grin and tells her that she's grateful lydia got closure. _closure_ is a feeling lydia wants to bottle up and store on her shelf, so she has it forever. allison flits around before announcing her departure, pressing a kiss to lydia's cheek and a belly rub for fang before waltzing through the door. lydia's heart drops a bit when allison goes, it baffles her but she doesn't dwell on it because she doesn't want to know what it means (she's afraid, _so afraid_ , that whatever-it-is will destroy her fragile happiness).

as the weeks drag on, lydia's heart starts to mend slowly. instead of wasting away her life on solitary mourning, she gradually expanded her friend group to more than just her kitten (whom she still loved to spend lazy days with). stiles became one of her closest friends, they spent days playing board games and watching nerdy movies when it was too hot to be outside (lydia will never tell a soul about her secret love for _the avengers_ ). lydia learned that stiles and derek hale are a thing, and that she's invited to the pack meetings by default. lydia's happy for stiles, happy that he found somebody who liked him back and that she doesn't have to feel so guilty. stiles also teaches lydia it's okay to love again, to love after a loss; he helps lydia realize her massive crush on allison and supports her. fang likes him too (which is odd considering jackson couldn't even tolerate him, but lydia suspects that jackson's just happy because she is) and he's always curling on stiles' lap and nipping at his fingers when he stops being petted.

her first pack meet is slightly awkward, nobody knows who the real lydia martin is that first day, but as she continues to attend, she can feel the trust building between them all. she starts to drag allison along with her, they all welcome the new addition with open arms (even scott, lydia feels like it's forced though) and she's thankful that they turn the other way when allison and her cuddle on derek’s oversized loveseat. allison tells lydia that her and scott are just friends, that they aren’t planning on being any more than that while they sit in lydia’s car outside of allison’s house, hands brushing against each other.

lydia starts to become more confident with her feelings towards allison, so flirting between them becomes natural. she's still hesitant, still blushes when allison calls her beautiful and holds her hand in public. it's only when jackson visits her again, exactly a month later, that she makes a move. jackson hugged her tight and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head before pulling back with a dazzling smile. he told her that he's proud of her, proud of how she's grown and that he'll always love her. he also told her that he doesn't expect the same from her, that she's allowed to love others because he'll always be near her through fang and that's _enough_ for him. lydia cried, again, and jackson rocked her through it.

a few days after jackson's last visit, allison comes to sleep over again-this time armed with enough rom-coms to last them a year. they snuggle on lydia's queen-sized bed with fang tucked between them and start their marathon. after the third movie and sleep is becoming a better decision with each passing moment, lydia blurts out her feelings while tripping over the words. she wonders idly if stiles ever feels like this as the silence stretches on and on; then all of a sudden allison is pressing her lips against lydia's and murmuring her similar feelings. allison tastes like vanilla, cherries with a hint of the forest and lydia can't get enough of it. she can feel jackson cheering in the back of her mind, wolf whistles included because it's still _jackson._

lydia feels allison make a home in her heart and adapting to fit in with the lingering love for jackson. she allows herself to have the two of them together, since the feelings are different yet equally strong. she'll always love jackson but allison is everything she needs and it's going to be _okay._

**_fin._ **


End file.
